If I had my way Tate would be mine
by GetOnYourKnees
Summary: If it was up to Violet, she would have Tate back and everything would be fine again. She can't let herself love him for what he did to her mother, but she's doing it anyway.  Summary sucks...Sorry Guys
1. Chapter 1

It's been a year since I last saw Tate. My Tate, not the one that's been creeping around here since my Mom died. It's also been a year since he last saw me properly, I know that he can still sense me sometimes, like that incident last week in the basement. He was with Constance and that _thing _that killed my Mom. I had promised Larry's girls the day before that I would help them set up their tea party before Michael came over. Obviously I had spent way longer than I had planned to with Beau. I loved Beau, he didn't have anything to worry about, he was happy enough listening to my problems just as long as I played ball with him afterwards. By the time I got to the top of the stairs I could hear the girls giggling away at whatever it was that had be going on. I slowly made my way down a few stairs, making sure I was keeping to the shadows, before I lowered myself down. Hayden was sat in the rocking chair in the corner rocking my brother, she and my Mom had decided long ago that it wouldn't be fair for us to live in the same house if they were arguing all the time, after all this was a permanent fixture now. She looked like the perfect Mom, even when Larry's girls and Michael demanded that she join in their tea party she smiled and said she'd be right there. In that moment I envied Hayden, she had everything she ever wanted and here I was sat on a cold, ugly flight of stairs that led to possibly the creepiest part of the house. I turned my head to the left and my eyes locked with Constance's. It creeped me out how she could do that, she looked at me for a moment before turning towards Tate again. I took this as my opportunity to move from my spot, I slowly and cautiously made my way down a few more steps, all the while thinking in my head 'Please don't let him see me, please don't' Of course he didn't he was too wrapped up in his precious son to care who else was in the room.

I don't know how long I stood there looking at Tate, it must have been quite a while because I didn't see Constance slip into the rocking chair behind me, when she spoke she nearly made me jump out of my skin.

"He's good with his son. I know that's what your wondering, well look at him, he's a natural. I have to say at first I had my doubts but he took to him like a fish in water. I love my boys more than life itself and I know we are a family but it still seems like there's something missing. We both know what that is, don't we?" I could tell Constance was waiting for a reply, she kept shifting in her seat every five seconds but I just couldn't seem to answer her right now. My eyes were fixed on the scene in front of me. Tate, Michael, the girls and Hayden, who still had the baby in her arms, were all crowded around the little table the girls used for their tea parties, having what seemed to be 'a family moment'. I knew that it was just Tate playing the doting father and Hayden just joined in because the girls wanted her too, but I couldn't help but feel jealous, they actually looked like a real family.

Constance cleared her throat from behind me and I turned towards her, my voice was barely a whisper.

" I don't see anything wrong with this little family of yours, it looks absolutely perfect to me." At that moment a roar of laughter erupted from the other side of the room and Constance and I turned to look, Tate had thrown Michael up into the air and caught him, sending the kid into a fit of hysterical laughter. Despite the fact that I wanted to rip Michael's throat out for what he did to my family, I smiled.

"I think we both know what's missing from this family. Tate knows it too, that's why he's started to spend less time with Michael, the fact that he will never have a perfect little family of his own hurts too much. It hurts you to doesn't it Violet? I can see it in your eyes." I turned away and started to stalk back up the stairs, if I could just keep it together until I reached the top then I would be fine. When I was about halfway up another round of laughter shot out from the room and I stopped. I turned slowly, making sure no one else knew I was there, not even Constance. I just wanted to watch Tate be with his son for a little while longer. Just as I sat down and edged closer to the wall were I knew I would be safe from anyone's vision Tate's head snapped up and his eyes quickly scanned the room, he looked at Constance who gave him a nod before he began scanning the room again. All of a sudden I felt like I couldn't breath, I knew this was a mistake. I needed to get out of the basement and fast. Quietly I picked myself up off the step and began to creep my way up them, never moving my eyes from Tate's figure, which was now spinning around like a maniac, searching for something. More importantly, searching for me.

As I reached the top stair I let out a sigh of relief. Tate whipped his head around to face me and his eyes locked on mine. It was like falling in love all over again, I could feel that pull that my Mom always spoke about. I tried to tear my eyes away from Tate's and make a hasty escape but I couldn't. I was mesmerized and he knew it, he had his trademark grin spread across his face and I was torn between throwing myself into his arms and throwing something at him. It felt like an eternity before Hayden spoke.

"Tate are you okay, you look…are you okay?" Tate turned to walk towards the table before he turned around again. Looking me right in the eye he said "I miss you Vi" before he made his way back to his son.


	2. Chapter 2

**So this Chapter 2...Finally! I've had really bad writer's block and I apologise in advance for how bad this chapter is. Sorry Guys! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with AHS. Apart from the plot**

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><p>"Violet you have to understand this what Tate wants now. He tried so hard to fix whatever he did, he's changed, even I can tolerate him now. I don't know what happened between you two but what I do know is this, your still in love with each other. Now you can try and deny it but just remember that I'm your mother and I know when your lying. So about yesterday, what happened?"<p>

I sat up and picked myself up off the floor, I'd spent hours in my old room, his old room, just thinking things over. He seemed so happy now. He had everything. His son, his Mom and _Hayden. _It had been four weeks since that day in the basement and I had avoided Hayden and Tate like the plague. Well that was until yesterday.

I was laying on the floor in my room, tracing patterns in the dust with my fingers, when I heard them. I tried to ignore them at first, I didn't want to hear what they had to say. Eventually my curiosity got the better of me and I got up following the sound of their voices. Standing at the bottom of the attic ladder I could clearly hear every word they were saying. I didn't want to risk going up and letting my guard slip, the last thing I wanted was for Tate to see me and do his usual cocky act and I sure as hell didn't want to have to deal with Hayden, I don't even know what everyone sees her, she's a bitch. I stood listening to their argument for a few minutes, it sounded like they where having a lover's tiff to me. I felt a lump rise in my throat but I swallowed it quickly, it was me who ended it with Tate and I had to accept that he'd moved on. Even if it was with some slut who broke my family apart. I reached up and pulled myself up the two bottom stairs, their voices had dropped to whispers and I was straining to hear what they where saying.

"You know it doesn't have to be like this, we could still be together. Fuck! Why can't you see that I've changed? Why are you so fucking stubborn? I know I hurt you , I can see that but your not making this any easier for me."

"What are you talking about Tate. I don't even know why were having this conversation. You know how I feel about you, everyone else in this house may be able to forgive you but I can't." What the hell was Hayden talking about? As far as I knew nothing major had happened between them, someone would have told me or Hayden would have made a big fuss and moped around the house for days pretending that she hated the attention. God I loathed her, why couldn't anyone else see her they way I could?

"You don't understand. It wasn't my fault, Nora made me do it. Please just give me a chance….I need you in my life, without you I'm nothing." I closed my eyes and sighed. This was all my fault, I had let Tate go and now he was moving on, if this was what he wanted then I had to accept that.

"Tate! Stop it! I don't want to do this right now…Please just go" Hayden sounded so stupid, who was she to think she was even worthy of having Tate. The anger boiling inside of me was threatening to come out, I had to get away from them and quick. I attentively took the small step down, careful not to make any noise that would disturb Tate and Hayden. Just as I was about to go back to my room and mull over their conversation I heard someone shuffling, stopping dead in my tracks I listened hard but nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to hear.

"Your going to make me say it aren't you? Fuck, I was not planning on you being this stubborn…I…well what I'm trying to say is…Fuck this is hard…I love you, okay. I love you and I try really hard not too because I know that's what you want but I do. I love you!"

"Good, that's good." Hayden's voice was barely a whisper but I heard it loud and clear. I stood for a few minutes frozen to the spot just replaying their conversation over in my head. I felt sick, I knew that Tate had moved on and that he and Hayden were happy but telling her he was in love with her was a bit much. A year ago they couldn't even be in the same room together without wanting to rip each other's head's off and now they were in love. I let a sob before even realising it. I snapped my head up towards the attic. Had they heard me? I stood for a few more seconds, not bothering to listen to the rest of their dumb ass conversation about how in love they were before I stalked back down the corridor into my room. It was the only place I would be able to be near Tate now. I shut the door just as my legs gave out and I landed in a crumpled heap on the floor, I cried for what felt like hours. It finally dawned on me what I had done, by letting Tate go I had willingly handed him over to Hayden. I had let him go and now I had lost him forever.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey Everyone. **

**So Chapter 3 is finally here! I'm so sorry I haven't updated quicker but I just had no idea what to write. I hope you enjoy this chapter though :) **

**Disclaimer: I do not own AHS! (Although I wish I did)**

**Oh before I forget I kind of changed things a little bit :)**

(I apologise in advance for how bad this chapter is)

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><p>I've avoided everyone since that day. I've barely moved from this room. The room me and Tate had shared, this was the only thing that connected me to him now. He was supposed to love me, we were meant to be together forever. But I'd let him go hadn't I? I was the one who sent him away, I was the one who had ended things between us. I had basically handed him to Hayden and now that he was finally with her I was beating myself up about it. How was that even fair? I'd told him he was what I had wanted. I'd lied, he was all I wanted. I couldn't get him out of my head and being in this room didn't help. I didn't want to see them together though. I couldn't, every time I did I just wanted to lunge at Hayden and rip her throat out. Apart from the getting impregnated by my father fiasco it was like she was trying to replace me. A year ago I would have said that there was a bigger chance of hell freezing over than that happening, but from the little snippets of conversations I heard when I finally couldn't take staring at the same four walls or the little things I had seen on my aimless wonders around the house, I knew she had taken my place.<p>

Seeing them together was harder than I thought it would be. I tried to avoid them at all costs but it seemed the harder I tried the more I would run into them. Sometimes it would just be quick glances as they descended the stairs to the basement hand in hand laughing at one another. Other times I would sit and watch them for hours, the way Hayden would rest her head on Tate's shoulder as they watched Michael and the girls play or the way Tate would stroke Hayden's hand with his thumb when he knew she was upset. I hated to admit it but they looked like the perfect couple.

It took me two months to finally accept the fact that Tate would never come back to me, by this time he and Hayden were so wrapped up in one another they barely noticed anyone else. They played happy families with Michael whenever Constance brought him over and judging by the constant grin on his face the kid was probably the happiest I had ever seen him. I still watched from the sidelines but I knew they could sense me, they way Hayden would cling to Tate if I even took a step in their direction confirmed this. I still made sure no one could see me though, I sure if the girls even caught the slightest glimpse of me they would beg and plead with me until I felt guilty enough to join in their tea party.

Today was the day. I had decided a few weeks ago there no was point in avoiding the two of them forever, everyone had become uncomfortable walking on eggshells around me anyway and the tension was starting to get to me. I had sat for hours last night planning out what I was going to say, when I was going to say. I had even planned out what I was going to wear and how I was going to do my hair. Early the next morning I crept out of my room and up into the attic. Recently I felt that I had been neglecting Beau and I wanted to apologise to him for that. Slowly making my way into the attic I was careful not to make any noise, if anyone else came up here I was sure to back out of my plan and continue with my depressing moping around the house. Finally hauling myself up into the attic I sat for a few moments before the familiar red ball made it's way to me. Smiling I picked it up and rolled it back before Beau appeared from the shadows and rolled the ball back to me. We continued to roll the ball back and forth for a while before I heard a noise from somewhere else in the house. Taking that as my cue I stood up and wiped myself down, finally accepting that this is what I had to do in order to be close to Tate again I stood up and walked over to Beau giving him a quick hug before pressing the ball into his palm.

"Don't worry, I'll be back soon." I took my time making my way to the basement, the people I passed looked at me in confusion, this was the first time I had let anyone see me in over two months. As I reached the basement door I sighed, well it was now or never. I took the steps two at a time, eager to reach the bottom. When I did I almost crashed into Michael, who had been playing with Tate's toy truck at the bottom of the stairs. I crouched down next to him and then I felt _his _eyes on me but it wasn't his voice that spoke it was _hers. _

"Violet how lovely to see you? We were wondering when you would finally make an appearance" I looked up at Hayden and forced a smile on my face. How annoying can one person be? Did she not realise I hated her guts. I stood up and sighed before giving the speech I had gone over a thousand times in my head.

"I'm sorry for the way I have been acting towards everyone. Especially you two in particular, it was rude and awful and I would appreciate it if we could leave in the past and move on." I pushed my way in between the two of them, their hands separating, and my way over to the table where the girls we sat. We chatted for a while about all the things I had missed but I soon grew bored. I began scanning the room praying something would catch my attention but nothing did. Out the corner of my eye I could see Hayden and Tate sat on the bottom stair, her hand resting on his thigh while he traced patterns up and down her arm with his finger. At this I grew anger, he was supposed to be looking after his son, not getting intimate with that bitch. I turned my head slightly looking at them, then I noticed something. Michael wasn't there. Panic started to set in as I whipped my head round the room, Constance had dozed off a while ago so I knew she hadn't taken him home, but I couldn't see him. Standing up from the table I started to walk towards the stairs before I noticed him. He was pulling himself up with the railing at the bottom of the stairs, I stopped, scaring him could potentially be dangerous. I watched him for a few seconds as he began to shuffle slowly across the floor. He wavered a few seconds later but managed to straighten out again. I took a tentative step forward, careful not to scare him and before I knew what was happening I had reached Michael. I took one look at him and realised why everyone loved him. He looked almost angelic, without much hesitation I took his small, sweaty hands in mine and started to lead him towards the stairs. When we finally reached the bottom stair I looked up and found that Tate and Hayden appeared to be having a game of tonsil tennis. Agitated I kicked Tate's foot roughly before I started to back up to the wall, Michael's tiny hands gripping onto mine so tightly I sure my fingers were going numb. I heard a few gasps from around the room before Michael's legs gave out and he landed roughly on the floor. Picking him up I swung him around a few times before placing him in Hayden's lap and shoving past Tate, his hand caught my wrist and I stopped on the stair. Twisting round I was met with that grin I had missed so much, I took a sharp intake of breath before Tate spoke.

"Thank you Vi." I smiled quickly before bounding upstairs to recite the events of the day to Beau.


	4. Chapter 4

**So I thought I would do something different for this chapter. I'm going to be writing in Hayden's POV, so let me know what you think and if I should do this more often. **

**Disclaimer: I still don't AHS ****:)**

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><p><em>Hayden's POV<em>

I watched Tate after Violet left, he had the biggest grin I have ever seen spread across his face. It was good to see that she still had that effect on him but I couldn't help feel a little jealous. I knew that Tate still loved Violet, he could fool everyone in this house apart from me. Sure the way he looked at me made me feel like a little school girl and when he was around I felt safe but there was just something missing. The way he looked at me was different for a start, like he was looking through me not at me. When he looked at Violet he was really looking at her, taking in every tiny detail of her face, making sure he didn't miss anything. When he spoke to her he used this soft tone I had only ever heard him use with Michael, it was like he was scared that if he spoke to loud then Violet would shatter. I envied her, she still had a hold on him even when she didn't want to, how could you not be jealous of that?

I tried my best not to let it get to me, I really did. I knew Tate loved me in some way and I tried to reassure myself time and time again that it was me he wanted now but I was probably just prolonging my pain by doing that. So I started to watch them, Violet had recently started coming down to the basement on Thursday's for Michael's visits, she said she felt it was time for her to at least try to bond with everyone again. At first when I saw the two of them talking I felt like I had been stabbed in the gut, but then Violet made it clear she was only here for Michael and no one else. Still that didn't make watching the two of them and how great they were with Michael any easier, in fact it hurt like hell. I tried pretending that it didn't bother me but even that got to much for me. So one day, when I had decided enough was enough I waited until everyone had cleared out of the basement before I confronted Tate.

"This is hurting me you know? You probably have no idea what I'm going on about right now but just listen for a minute okay. I see the way you look at her, the way you hang on every word she says. The way you search the room for her when she leaves, the way your eyes light up when you catch even the smallest glimpse of her…" Tate opened his mouth as his forehead creased in confusion but I put my hand up to stop him. "Please just listen," He nodded so I continued with my speech.

"You probably can't see it but its so obvious to everyone else, hell even your girlfriend can see it. The way you hold her gaze for just a little too long or the way you grip onto her fingers when she tells you she's leaving. Those things hurt me Tate, especially when everyone else can see them too. But you know what hurts more than that? The fact that I stand here day after day telling you how much I love you and yet you still choose her over me." I closed my eyes tightly promising myself I wouldn't cry. When I opened my eyes Tate still wore the same confused expression.

"Hayden, I have no idea what your talking about? When have I ever said that I choose her over you." I took a step towards Tate and lifted his chin so his eyes where level with mine, we stood staring at each other for a few seconds before I spoke again.

"You don't have to say anything Tate it's in your eyes. The way you look at me, it's like I'm not even here. You can barely concentrate on me for more than five seconds, but when you look at her…it's like your whole world stops." I sat on the bottom step, Tate following a few seconds later. We sat in silence for what felt like hours before Tate spoke.

"I'm sorry Hayden. Really I am" I looked at him before I suddenly had an idea, smirking I placed my hand in his and entwined our fingers.

"It's okay. Look I know this is probably going to sound crazy or completely out of the question but since your so insanely in love with this chick what do you say we get her to love you again?" Tate looked at me for a few seconds before his face broke into that grin I thought I would never see again.

"I love you, you know that right?" I shook my head and laughed for a few seconds.

"Yeah right, now come on asshole we have a lot to do." Gripping his hand in mine I swallowed the lump in my throat and blinked back the tears that were threatening to spill. I kept running over the thoughts in my head wondering if I had gone totally insane before I decided that I would do anything to make Tate happy and if Violet was going to do that then I had to accept it, even if it killed me. I was dead anyway, right?

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><p><strong>So what did you guys think? I might start to alternate between Violet and Hayden now... <strong>


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